Bill Gates’ head in the clouds

A recent grant from Bill Gates is making it possible for researchers to explore the possibility of reducing global warming by spraying clouds with a seawater mist to make them whiter and more reflective against the sun’s harmful rays.

Read that again, but try it without laughing.

Armand Neukermans, the recipient of Gates’ $300,000 grant, is working to design a conceptual spray mechanism that he would equip to a fleet of ships. This mechanism would then be used to extract salt crystals from the ocean and lift them into the air.

Unfortunately, this isn’t just some new crackpot idea. This is an old crackpot idea, kicking around since 1990. 

John Latham of the National Center for Atmospheric Research was the first to propose this ludicrous idea, and has since expanded on the idea to include hundreds of wind-powered boats generating a magical sea mist. Meanwhile, a combination of airplanes and satellites monitor the clouds’ moisture content and “whiteness.”

Latham estimates that the project would cost approximately $4.5 billion but would buy the planet another 30-60 years. He figures that by that time we should be able to develop a “more permanent solution.”

That should be just about enough time to stop worrying about global warming, and once again panic about the threat of global cooling.

In the 1970s, people were scared to death of global cooling.  Many referred to the period as the “little Ice Age.” Paranoid climatologists were frustrated with world leaders who refused to participate in a plan to melt the polar ice caps by covering them in a layer of soot.

Aren’t we glad we didn’t invest in that little experiment?

Both cloud-whitening and ice-blackening are ridiculous ideas that fall under the umbrella term “geo-engineering.” Geo-engineering, or climate engineering, is the study of proposals and options to deliberately alter the earth’s climate to counteract global warming.

Excuse me. I, of course, mean “global climate change.”

Pardon me for being so bold, but I believe in God. I believe He created the earth. I’m joined by approximately 80 percent of Americans who do as well.

That being said, I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that He has a little more control over the earth and its atmosphere than any of us do, including Bill Gates.  The planet’s operating system is probably a tad more complex than any version of Windows, with or without patches. 

Earth is estimated to be approximately 4.5 billion years old. There have been ice ages.  There have been warm periods. 

Most geologists agree that once upon a time, there was only one continent. With time, that changed too. I wonder what Al Gore and Bill Gates would have done to prevent that disaster.

The planet is constantly changing and will continue to do so.

Maybe the environmentalists should go back to worrying about recycling and let God handle the whole “commanding the elements” thing.